Zone Defense (YOLO, part two)

How do you do it? 

It’s a question I’ve been asked often and it refers to the complexity of family life that comes with Jeff traveling so frequently for work.  The simple answer?  Zone defense. 

When we were parents of an only child it was two against one.  I liked those odds and they served us well for almost five years.  Then we added a second child to the mix and we transitioned to a man-to-man defense.  Yet another effective parenting strategy.  Then Jeff’s job began to involve more and more travel which left me with….you guessed it…..zone defense.  We were back to the two against one odds, only this time they were not in my favor. 

Zone defense as a parenting strategy can often be viewed more as survival mode.  You see, parenting was designed as a team sport.  Our winning strategy revolved around man-to-man defense, but sometimes during the course of the game adjustments have to be made.  Sometimes these adjustments mean that the team eats cereal for supper, or that you have to sit through your sister’s concert/sports practice/teacher conference etc.  Think of these as parenting audibles.  They’re not ideal, but often necessary. 

It is at this point that I should mention that I am not athletic.  I do not understand “runners high”.  I think I would have to BE high in order to enjoy running.  I enjoy sports as long as I am a spectator.   If they gave ESPYs for spectating, I might be a contender.  However, in the game of parenting I cannot be a spectator.  Sitting on the sidelines means that inevitably I will have to ask a question like “Why is there a hole in the wall?” or “Is something burning?”  Parenting is the one sport where I am required, despite athletic ability, to be an active participant and not a spectator. 

So back in the zone I go. 

Unfortunately, our version of zone defense meant that one crucial member of our team was often not in the game with us.  He was often calling in plays from a distance, and by the time I received the play call for “1^st and 10” I’d be in a “3^rd and long” scenario and suiting up to punt.  He didn’t like being away from the team so it was time for a change.

In one of the ultimate YOLO (you-only-live-once) expressions he put family first and chose to take a demotion.  He realized that there was not a time in Rachel’s life that he hadn’t been travelling for work.  She had never truly experienced man-to-man defense.  So he took a step backward on the corporate ladder and our team, back to its full roster, moved up in the ratings. 

Do we score on every play? No.  Occasionally we still audible because, well, sometimes it’s fun.  Sometimes we explain to Dad that tonight’s play call is cereal for supper and he can either join the play, or sit on the bench.  But Dad is no bench-warmer.  He got in this game to play.  Pass the Frosted Flakes.

Is everyone happy with the new team dynamic? Not exactly.  Rachel thinks man-to-man defense is awesome---as long as she’s being defended by Dad.  Elisabeth tends to prefer zone defense as it allows for more mistakes by your opponent (a.k.a. parent).  What teenager wouldn’t want that? ‘Ward’ is still trying to figure out his new role in the Cleaver (Wahlgren) family and ‘June’ is adjusting to ‘Ward’ constantly being around.  Now Ward not only knows where the laundry room is, he even learned how to use the new washing machine.  (His only involvement with the previous washing machine was paying for it). 

So if you still want to know how I do it, get your tickets and be a spectator. 

We’re all in the game, and the odds are in our favor.