Searching for a Cure

There are two levels of clean in our house:  Kid-approved and Mommy Standards.  When it comes to delegated chores, kid-approved rarely meets Mommy Standards.    I am convinced that children are born with the inability to see dirt. Unless of course it is dirt for digging in or making mud pies, in which case, they can spot it from a mile away.  My kids, great as they are, were born with this defect and I am desperately searching for a cure. 

Case in point: dusting.  This would be one of Elisabeth’s weekly assignments.  She readily agreed thinking it would be easy.  I was thrilled to be rid of this task due to my allergies (to dust, not to cleaning in general).  She completed the job in record time.  What an Energizer Bunny, I thought.  Then I began to survey her ‘work.’  She had selected what she deemed were ‘priority’ surfaces and that is what got dusted.  No one looks at the bookshelves, therefore, they didn’t really need dusting.  Furthermore, dusting in her world means taking a quick swipe around whatever objects are lying around.  Now I know this kid has artistic tendencies, but leaving designs with the dust in my house is not how I want her creativity expressed. 

Case in point two: clean bedroom.  This would be on both girls’ chore lists, but Rachel is the one that baffles the mind here.  Apparently as long as there is a path from the door to the bed, this constitutes “clean.”  While I must allow that the Fire Marshal would probably give his stamp of approval to the room, rarely does it receive a stamp of approval based on Mommy Standards.  Many a time I’ve entered her room for inspection only to wonder what she spent all her “cleaning time” in there doing.  Now before you think my standards are too high, this leads me to…..

Case in point three:  vacuuming.  Back to Elisabeth.  I will readily admit that it is hard to vacuum the carpet if you cannot SEE the carpet.  As vacuuming is one of Elisabeth’s weekly chores, she cannot complete her chores for her allowance if she cannot see the carpet in Rachel’s room in order to vacuum the carpet in Rachel’s room.  My budding fourth-grade Einstein quickly solved this dilemma.  Everything on the floor became relocated to…..the bed.  Vacuuming problem solved.  Bedtime problem created. 

This led to a discussion (complete with eye-rolling by the children) about how we’re all a family and our decisions impact the other members of the family.  Elisabeth suggested that if I removed vacuuming from the chore list, Rachel could stop cleaning her room.  Very helpful.  Rachel was on board with the suggestion.  My girls were presenting a united front.  They were working together for a common goal.  I should have been proud. 

Instead, I suggested that maybe we should just live in a sod house.  I mean, we’re halfway there anyway.  And while we’re at it, why bother with indoor plumbing?  Then we could take “clean bathrooms” off the chore list.  I was on a roll.  No stopping me now.

                            

Do you know why they’re not smiling?

Their house is dirty, so Mama’s not happy, and if Mama’s not happy…..you get it!

 

Unamused, the girls began to see my point.  Turns out they’re rather fond of indoor plumbing. 

So we reached a compromise.  There’s no sod house in our future.  We’ll be meeting a level of clean somewhere between kid-approved and Mommy Standards; no gas masks or white gloves needed.  We’ll call it the Wahlgren Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval. 

And it doesn’t need a cure.