The F Word

Ever used the ‘F’ word?  It’s okay.  This is a judgment-free zone.

Wait.  Not THAT ‘F’ word.

I’m talking about another ‘F’ word.

Fifty.  As in, my age.

As a gerontologist who specializes in environmental gerontology (aka where older adults live) I’m well aware that I have five more years before I’m ‘eligible’ for senior housing.  Doing some quick math tells me that my eligibility will coincide with my youngest daughter graduating from college. 

Shouldn’t there be something in between there?  Does life really go from raising children to being a ‘senior’?? 

In preparation for this ‘milestone birthday’ I stopped coloring my hair to cover up the grays shortly after I turned 49.  My hair had been colored for more than twenty years (for the purpose of covering gray hair) and my daughters wondered what my natural color of brunette was.  I kept telling them I would stop coloring it at some point when I was older; at an age that it would be ‘acceptable’ to have gray hair.  They asked what age that was and I didn’t have a good answer. 

I decided that I wanted to enter my fifties without trying to look younger. I’m not alone.  Women embracing their gray hair are prevalent on social media---at all ages.  Now I’m wishing I had joined the bandwagon earlier.

With an acceptance of my age being reflected in my appearance, I was ready to enter the next decade of life. 

But was I ready to be ‘over the hill?’

Life is a rollercoaster.  Full of ups and downs.  But using the phrase ‘over the hill’ suggests our life is limited to one up and one down. 

I’ve never been a fan of rollercoasters, but here’s why I like the analogy of life and a one up/one down rollercoaster. 

The going up phase of the rollercoaster is, if we’re honest, the boring part.  Looking straight up there often isn’t much of a view.  You’re just biding your time. 

But then you make it to the top of the hill.

This is when things get exciting.

The ride down is where it gets ‘fun’ (at least for those that enjoy rollercoasters).  You throw your hands up with abandon, scream at the top of your lungs and just have a blast.  The part ‘over the hill’ is the BEST part.  It’s the entire reason for riding the rollercoaster in the first place.

 

 

The real problem with the downhill part is that it goes so much faster than the uphill part. 

And we don’t want the ride to end.

 There’s a reason the ‘over the hill’ party decorations don’t have a specific age on them.  Is this my ‘over the hill’ year?  Probably not, but I don’t know. I just hope my hill isn’t like Jack and Jill’s----I don’t want to come tumbling down.  I’d prefer the downhill screaming be from jubilation, not excruciating pain.

Looking on the bright side (is it on the other side of the hill?), I did get my AARP membership. 

Many of my friends have been offended by receiving membership offers from AARP at a time they perceived to be on their way up the hill, not going over it.  Here’s the thing….the work that AARP does for older adults benefits EVERYONE….that is, assuming you actually want to be an older adult someday (which I very much do).  And honestly, once you get past age 21, do you really want the next birthday that gives you something “to look forward to” to be signing up for Medicare??  I’d rather ease into it with AARP, complete with a welcome gift.

AARP was founded by Dr. Ethel Percy Andrus, the first female principal of a major urban high school in California (GIRL BOSS!) and Leonard Davis.  It began when she realized that retired teachers were living on exceedingly small pensions without health insurance.  She created a nursing home facility for teachers but struggled to obtain health insurance for them.  Davis helped with the insurance part and eventually it expanded to all retirees….in 1958.  If you qualify for Medicare you’re older than AARP.  Medicare wouldn’t be available until 1965.

But therein lies the catch.  AARP membership eventually leads us down the path to Medicare enrollment.  It’s the gateway drug to embracing aging.  I, for one, am not anti-aging and hope to live a very long life which is now the benefit of going ‘over the hill’ (a phrase which originally came from sending the elderly ‘over the hill’ to live in a poorhouse but is no longer applicable).

So please stop viewing ‘over the hill’ as a negative.  Embrace the ride and enjoy what’s over the hill. Throw your hands up and scream if you must.  But don’t be afraid to use the ‘F’ word.

Here’s to the first fifty years of life….and the next.