I was dumbfounded. I
mean, I know parents aren’t supposed to understand teenagers, but this was
something I never saw coming.
What
teenager doesn’t want to learn to drive?
Turns out, mine, and a LOT of others.
When Elisabeth turned 15 we got her Learner’s Permit. I figured that what would follow would be an
endless stream of “Can I drive?” Instead, my daughter was perfectly happy to be
the owner of an item that was only used to fill one of the slots in her
wallet. She had no interest in driving
the car. She had no interest in learning
to drive. Period.
Jeff and I tried numerous times to talk her into going driving
with us. “No thanks” or “Maybe some
other time” were the replies we got. We
couldn’t understand it. When we turned
15 all we wanted was our Learner’s Permit, and when we turned 16 all we wanted
was our Driver’s License. It represented
FREEDOM. Teenagers today aren’t
interested in that. Apparently we’ve
made her home life too satisfying---she has no interest in NOT being at
home.
Granted, things have changed a lot in the time since Jeff and
I learned to drive. Now there are a lot
more rules, steps to the process, etc.
It’s become more of a chore than a privilege. And besides, driving a car involves responsibility,
and why would I want to deal with that when I can just Facetime with my friends
from the comfort of my own room?
Why? Because your
mother is tired of driving you around!
With your freedom was supposed to come MY freedom. I was going to have one less child to
chauffeur around. It was going to be
great. I was already planning what I
would do with all that extra time. But
instead of getting her a Driver’s License for her 16th birthday, we
got her Learner’s Permit renewed. After
yet another visit to the dreaded DMV we’re not any further along in the process
than we were a year ago. I explained to
her that there would be no more renewals.
The next time I brought her to the DMV she would be getting a
LICENSE.
So it became time to parent tougher. We decided to treat driving the same way we
treated swimming: you don’t have to like
it, but it’s a life skill you need to have.
YOU’RE TAKING LESSONS!!
We signed her up for the April session at Bob’s Driving School
(I’m not making this up----that’s the actual name). She had resigned herself to learning with the
agreement that she would start driving her Junior year of high school.
Then we had the car accident.
On Good Friday as I was driving Elisabeth to school in the
morning, a driver went through a red light at 45 mph and we were his
unfortunate victims. We were extremely
lucky though. I had entered the
intersection slowly, he swerved as soon as he realized his mistake, and I hit
my brakes. No injuries to people, just
two very messed up vehicles. And one
extremely shaken teenager. I surveyed
the damage to my vehicle while wondering about the damage to my daughter’s
psyche.
The story gets better as he shares with me that he is the safe
driving instructor at her high school.
(I instantly make a mental note to NEVER let her take safe driving at
school and secretly hope that he is in no way connected with Bob’s Driving
School.) He tries apologizing to her and
she tries to smile and convince him (and herself) that it’s okay. But it’s not okay. She was hesitant to drive before the accident. Poor Bob will have his work cut out for him
now! Hopefully session one is entitled
“Confidence Behind the Wheel”. She’s
going to need it.
She comes home from the first class and shares with us that
Bob takes each of them driving 3 times, but the third time is the driving
test. WHAT? You’re telling me that after two times behind
the wheel Bob thinks you’re going to be competent to drive? Now I’m wondering if Bob taught the idiot
that went through a red light and hit me---he clearly could use a refresher
course. Green means Go, red means STOP!!!!! Elisabeth claims that Bob said he’s never
had anyone not pass the test. This is
going to be like Arthur pulling Excalibur from the stone---I can’t wait to see
this miracle happen.
After her first driving practice with Bob, she tells me that he
has decided she’ll need an extra driving session to gain some confidence. Well, duh.
I’m no driving instructor, but I could have seen that one coming. I could try to put on my surprised look, but
really I’m just relieved. Fortunately,
she doesn’t seem traumatized by the experience and is not begging to drop the
class. We’re making progress.
And this is where the ‘fun’ begins. Armed with all this new knowledge about how
to drive Elisabeth seizes the opportunity to point out everything I’m doing
wrong while driving. Literally,
EVERYTHING.
“You’re speeding.”
“You forgot to signal that last
turn.”
“That’s not the correct position
for hands on the wheel.”
“You didn’t wait long enough at
that stop sign.”
“Bob says you’re supposed to stop
for yellow lights.”
Before I do something I’ll regret, I decide it’s time for an
intervention. I explain to Elisabeth
that while she is in Driver’s Ed she should do exactly what Bob tells her. I also explain to her that there’s “textbook
driving” and then there’s reality. I
explain to her that when driving in Omaha, stopping for yellow lights is a
fabulous way to get in an accident. I
frequently point out to her that not only did I go through a yellow light, but
the two (or three) cars behind me also continued through the intersection. Had I followed Bob’s directions and stopped,
we would be in yet another accident. She
agrees to stop pointing out my mistakes.
If you want a real challenge, try “textbook driving”
sometime. I dare you. No, I double-dog-dare you. It’s not as easy as it seems.
·
Drive 2-3 miles UNDER the speed limit at all
times.
·
At stop signs, come to a complete stop BEHIND the
stop sign and once the vehicle is at a complete stop, wait two seconds before
proceeding. (This is particularly fun at
4-way stops where most likely someone will start honking at you, or furiously
waving you through the intersection)
·
NEVER go through a yellow light. (Make sure you have good insurance coverage
before trying this one---see comments above)
·
Leave the appropriate spacing between your car and
the vehicle in front of you. (Even Bob
admitted to Elisabeth that this one is nearly impossible in Omaha because if
you leave that much space someone else will fill it)
Good luck with this.
Elisabeth did fine with it because she had such limited time behind the
wheel prior to the test that she had virtually no time to develop any bad
habits. Bob actually told her he was
glad he didn’t have to “re-teach” her anything her parents had taught her. You’re welcome, Bob.
Bob decides she doesn’t need the extra driving session after
all. She passes the written test and
then the day comes for the driving test.
It begins storming and she places a call to me.
“Can you call Bob and reschedule
for me?”
“No. If you want to reschedule, you’re going to
have to deal with Bob yourself, but I’m guessing he probably expects you to
know how to drive when it’s raining as well.”
Fast forward about five minutes and the tornado sirens go
off. Elisabeth calls again extremely
relieved because Bob agreed that she shouldn’t have to test during a tornado
warning. Four days later, in sunny
conditions she passes her driving test missing only a single point and earning
the highest grade in the class. Arthur
has pulled Excalibur from the stone (cue the golden beams from heaven).
With that, here are my words of wisdom for our new driver:
·
Horns are for emergencies. They are not to be used to express
emotion. Don’t be that idiot that honks
when he’s annoyed with how other people are driving. Just smile and wave at him and realize you’re
a better driver than he’ll ever be.
·
Don’t run out of gas. Ever.
You learned the alphabet when you were a little girl. You know ‘E’ and ‘F’. ‘E’ is a good letter to start your name with,
it’s not a good letter for measuring the amount of gas left in your car. Be smart enough to keep gas in the vehicle.
·
Don’t be that driver that is endlessly turning
left or right. If you can’t tell that
your turn signal is on, your music is too loud.
Or your passengers are. Either
way, remedy the situation.
·
Don’t be that driver that’s always switching lanes
to find the ‘fastest’ lane. You proved
to Bob that you know how to change lanes; you don’t need to show everyone else
that you know how. I can assure you that
no other drivers are interested in your demonstration of this ability.
·
As you have learned firsthand, accidents
happen. Do everything possible so that
they are never your fault. We’ve watched
friends bury their children after horrific car accidents. Your dad and I do not want to know what this
feels like.
·
Remember that Bob lives just down the street, and
he knows where you live too. He believes
you can do this and so do we. Make us
all proud of your driving.
After all, you’ve already proven that you’re fantastic at
driving……..me crazy!
