“You just met
Contestant Number 73.”
The emcee wasn’t talking to me. I met Contestant #73 about sixteen years
ago. You see, this is a phrase
associated with my daughter, and yet I’m still not entirely sure how it
happened. Many have asked, so I’ll do my
best to piece together the ‘pageant puzzle.’
Last fall Elisabeth received an invitation to the Open Call
for the National American Miss pageant.
Normally I would just put this right into the recycling bin, but since
she’s getting older I tend to give her all of her mail and let her do her own
recycling. But an odd thing
happened. She didn’t recycle it. Not even close. She asked if she could go.
WHAT??? You can’t be
serious!
“Mom, it sounds like fun, and I think it would be a good way
for me to improve my public speaking skills.”
Fast forward to the end of January and I find myself (with
Elisabeth) at the Open Call meeting. The
pageant director, who can best be described as short, blonde, somewhat stocky
and bubbly beyond comprehension, seemed to have consumed about 6 Red Bulls
prior to the meeting and described at a frenzied pace what our daughters were
in for.
Before I knew it Elisabeth was
being whisked to the front of the room, along with the other girls in her age
division, to introduce themselves to the crowd in the hotel convention
room. Then they were ushered out the
door to compete in an interview competition to see who would become State
Finalists.
Whoa. I thought we were
just here to get information! Boy was I
wrong…..
Upon receiving the phone call that she was indeed a State
Finalist, Elisabeth was over-the-moon excited.
I did not share this excitement.
February brought our next meeting--- An afternoon of ‘Pageant
101’ to learn the details of what was involved.
The girls practiced interviewing, how to sit with correct posture, how
to stand with “pretty feet” (I wish I was kidding, but that’s really what the
pageant ‘stand’ is called), etc. The
various competitions involved with the pageant were explained to us while the
pageant representative (another ridiculously cheery and bubbly blonde girl)
emphasized that this pageant was a poise and confidence pageant, NOT a beauty
pageant (i.e. this is not the ‘glitz’ pageant that Honey Boo-Boo competes
in).
The next month was spent with Elisabeth earning her
sponsorship fees, and April was spent practicing interview questions, finding
formal wear, etc. Then we blinked and it
was Mother’s Day weekend and we were headed to the Ramada Convention Center for
the big event.
At this point I still am not enthused about the whole pageant
idea, and can scarcely believe I’m spending Mother’s Day weekend this way.
But then a funny thing happened. The pageant started and my daughter amazed
me. Her first event was the formal wear
competition. Escorted by her Dad,
Contestant #73 (a.k.a. Elisabeth) confidently strode out onto the stage, under
the bright spot lights, in front of hundreds of people and was the picture of
poise and confidence. I, however, was
thinking “please don’t trip”, “remember to smile”, “make eye contact with the
judges” and praying to God that the dress tape would work and she would not have
an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction!
My worrying was a complete waste of time. Most people know that Elisabeth loves to
prove me wrong and this was no exception.
For a teenager that struggles with being in front of people and suffers
from panic attacks, she was in her element.
Completely
calm and collected.
Who is this kid and what have the pageant people done with my
daughter????
Now before you think, well, how hard can it be to walk out on
a stage and smile, think about this. She
walked out there for the sole purpose of being judged strictly for her
appearance. Would you want to be put on
a stage under bright lights to be judged by total strangers? The ‘fun’ element of this concept still
eludes me but she was clearly having a blast.
She’s already doing better than I expected, but we still have
two events to go: the personal introduction, and the interview
competition. For the personal
introduction, think of any Miss America or Miss USA pageant where each
contestant has to come to the front of the stage and in 30 seconds, explain who
she is and where she’s from. Oh, and do
it in a way that makes you want to root for her, and that distinguishes her
from her competitors…..while smiling, and making eye contact with the judges,
and remembering to stand in perfect posture with ‘pretty feet.’ Piece of cake. Right……
This was Elisabeth’s real challenge. For someone who doesn’t like public speaking,
30 seconds in front of a convention room filled with hundreds of people can be
an eternity. Add to this the fact that
they go in numerical order. Yep, she’s
#73 and gets to stand in line and listen to 72 other contestants while she
tries to remain calm and remember her own introduction statement. Complicating matters is the fact that many of
these girls have coaches to help them prepare, and have been competing in
pageants for over a decade. Oh, by the
way, make sure you wear the right outfit (although we weren’t quite sure what
this was---the rules indicated you could wear anything from Sunday Church
clothes to an outfit for a business interview).
No pressure Elisabeth. We don’t
know what we’re doing, but you got this!
Personal Intro (next to the reigning National
American Miss Jr. Teen)
After seeing a couple of girls get stage fright, choke, hand
the microphone back to the current titleholder and walk off stage without even
saying a word, my nerves were getting the best of me. Would Elisabeth be able to do this or would
she have a panic attack?
Again, proving me wrong she sailed through the Introduction,
not stumbling once through her prepared statement. (Although the picture provides evidence that
she forgot her ‘pretty feet’).
Whew. Two competitions
down, one to go. Interview. Think of this as speed dating with 6
judges. You have one minute with each
judge to impress them. Again, make sure
you’re wearing the right thing, sitting the right way, maintaining eye contact,
smiling, and after all that, make sure you provide an impressive answer to the
question they ask (and you have no idea what they’re going to ask). Sounds like fun, right?
Well, this is the one competition that parents aren’t allowed
to watch. The girls returned (again in
numerical order) to their parents, still smiling but with a sort of “deer in
the headlights” look. None of them could
remember the questions they were asked, (just minutes earlier) but all were
indicating to their parents that they thought they did well.
You would think at this point that there would be relief
because the competitions were over. You’d
be wrong. We still had the Production
Number in the Final Show coming. This
would be the part of the pageant that you are used to seeing on tv (if you
watch that sort of thing) where all the girls sing and dance to a prepared song
as one big group. Then they (in lightning
speed) change from their Production Number outfit back into their formal wear
outfit for the awards/crowning. Then it’s
back out on stage, one at a time, to get into position to see who would be
taking home the crown.
Elisabeth's Division in their Production Number outfits on the main stage.
It was during the awards part of the ceremony that you begin
to realize just how rigged this competition is.
Girls were winning awards for “Most Tickets Sold to the Final Show”, “Most
Advertising Sold for the Programs” etc.
In other words, the girls who generated the most income for the pageant
organizers were the ones leaving with the awards, and making it into the round
of finalists. At this point Elisabeth
had no shot. She did not participate in
any optional competitions (i.e. Miss Photogenic, Spokesmodel, Modeling, Talent,
etc.) nor did she generate any additional revenue for the pageant through
additional sponsorships. We paid the
bare minimum to enter---and that was plenty!
So we came home with her State Finalist trophy, but no other
awards. I wish I could say she was
merely disappointed, but she was crushed.
It hurt to watch her go through that and not be able to make her feel
better. Was it a waste of time and
money? No. She got an experience that
she will remember forever, and I do believe that she faced (and conquered) her
fears by getting up in front of people. Did
I need a pageant to show me that my daughter had poise and confidence? No. But it helped her believe it. Do I want pageants to become her hobby?
Absolutely not. I will not be a ‘pageant
mom’ and I’ve tried to show her that pageants aren’t about the girls
involved---they’re a business. And based
on the number of contestants at this pageant, they’re a BIG business.
Having been through this process, I caught a glimpse of how
important tiaras are to girls. I’m still
not clear WHY, but they are. Maybe next
time instead of all the pageant fees, I’ll just buy her a tiara. Then we’ll figure out some other way she can
prove me wrong, and ‘proving me wrong’ can be her hobby.
And she’ll do it wearing a tiara….
